M$-Monopoly looks familiar, like the Depression- born real-estate board game. But those titles differ: Apple Computer instead of Boardwalk. Teledesic Network instead of Connecticut Avenue. WebTV Networks instead of, which railroad was over on that side of the board? The real joke, we guess, is that you can't really play the game.

You can only click on the various properties to see them pop up as some joke or other. Starting with the Start button -- in the place of Go -- that merely asks "What did you think you were going to get accomplished today?" And if you want, you can add your own joke to the board.

Did your boyfriend forget your dog's birthday? Again?!? Or perhaps your wife threw away that favorite pair of underwear you've had since college? Then maybe you should consider sending a Love Citation. Don't worry, you're qualified! Just by visiting this Web site, you'll be automatically deputized as a Love Police officer.

Fill out the handy online form, and a citation will immediately be emailed to the offender explaining his or her crime. The offender has the opportunity to dispute the infraction, plea for mercy, post bail, or simply call you a social misfit incapable of communicating your emotions in person.